She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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