I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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