what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
