Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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