All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
