i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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