Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
