that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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