So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
