I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
