Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
youre lurking in front of me
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
