you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize