I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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