4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
