Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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