I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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