I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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