I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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