woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
