You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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