too bad you live with your parents still
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
