Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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