I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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