he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
