I feel great
I just peed on a car
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
