i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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