he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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