Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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