i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize