What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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