I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
too bad you live with your parents still
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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