Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So. Much. Porn.
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