she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
