Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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