My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
