pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize