It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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