So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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