they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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