Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
