His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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