Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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