if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pants are for mortals
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
