I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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