rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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