there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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