Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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