you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
