If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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