do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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