If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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