Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
