She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
