Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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