you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
