I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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