Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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