I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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