dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
