Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it because I queefed?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
