booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
