I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
