THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
