I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
