i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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